If dreams were realised in one day ...

My anxiety is growing. i felt almost suffocated because i do not know if what i hoped to achieve this year would come to pass. maybe i will. maybe i will not. it is really not in my hands to tell.

Pastor in his sermon last night talked about priority and living purposefully, and not waste the time and resources investing in things that do not last. i asked myself, "Is my dream something that do not last?" I do not know how to answer that question. but i have always lived my life being driven by my aspirations. i am selfish. i want to achieve a lot of things in life. i do not know if i'd get to do all of them but i know that i want to.

Sometimes it is just easier to just procrastinate because then i can put off things that i do not want to think about and perhaps not have to do anything about it just yet. because i am afraid of the outcome, of the circumstances and the reactions of others.

If only dreams were realised in one day, i would not have to wake up every morning wondering if they would be ... or how to make them come true. if only dreams were realised in one day, i would be able to dream of new dreams every single day and not have to worry on whether they come true or not because they do anyway. if only dreams were realised in one day, then perhaps i would be less anxious and worrisome and caused frowns to appear on my face. if only dreams were realised in one day ...